The Rachel Papers Read & Download · E-book or Kindle E-pub

Summary The Rachel Papers

The Rachel Papers Read & Download · E-book, or Kindle E-pub È In his uproarious first novel Martin Amis author of the bestselling London Fields gave us one of the most noxiously believable and curiously touching adolescents ever to sniffle and lust his way through the pages of contemporary fiction On the brink of twenty CFather and meticulously plots the seduction of a girl named Rachel a girl who sorely tests the mettle of his cynicism when he finds himself falling in love with he. I haven't read other Martin Amis novels I have read analyses about Martin Amis I have read interviews of Martin Amis and I have read raving reviews of OTHER novels of Martin Amis and I believe everybody who praises his talent Unfortunately I should have also believed the people who praise his talent and who warned me not to choose The Rachel Papers as an introduction to his work on the grounds that – surprisingly enough it sucks I didn't and it was a big mistake I chose The Rachel Papers in the hope that it would turn out to be my High Fidelity of the 70s without the music or at least a light version of it because to actually match High Fidelity is too ambitious even for comparable books that chronologically precede it I also hoped it would turn out to be an easy and fun read about teenage lust which would be GREAT Give me the Footloose and Pretty In Pink videotapes ok it’s dvds anytime and I’ll watch them never mind the dozens of times I already have done so For each of these moviesend of synopsis of laughable in retrospect expectationsWell This was no fun read for sure It wasn't even an easy read and it's a short one and suffice to say I won't dignify that book with the slightest comment on potential proximities to a 70s version of anything even remotely related to the Hornby universe So what is The Rachel Papers The Rachel Papers is an incredibly B O R I N G and badly written coming of age novel about some Charles 20 year old who similarly to the entire book is completely humourless Charles doesn't give a fuck about anything in life except getting laid preferably with the number one popular Rachel girl with whom he is obsessed Which is fine And completely understandable if you’re not even 20 like CharlesUnfortunately at least for a human can’t vouch for extraterrestrials Charles also features a remarkably rare combination of all of the following inferiority complexes delusional ideas of grandeur sinister feelings for his father lack of trustworthiness self esteem instability lack of empathy towards everybody hallucinational – apparently ideas that planetary systems where being a complete arsehole is cool are already known to man and a desperate need for attention He is exactly the kind of person who will try to sell their half knowledge of the Dostoyevsky wikipedia entry and maybe of one of those short stories by Pushkin as expertise on Russian literature You know how it goesOf course lovely books where the main character is a complete jerk are not only perfectly possible but also in existence in abundance In fact 1984 and Crime And Punishment have to be my two most favourite books ever so far anyway and the protagonists in both books suck They suck One of them is also a murderer So that's clearly not an issue for meThe issue is that Charles both sucks and has nothing to share with the reader good or bad Top this up with a bunch of extra two dimensional underdeveloped characters – yes; that means Rachel too – and an obnoxiously crude writing style and that's itDoes this sound tempting to youI didn't think so

Download ✓ E-book, or Kindle E-pub Ä Martin Amis

Er to sniffle and lust his way through the pages of contemporary fiction On the brink of twenty Charles High way preps desultorily for Oxford cheerfully loathes his. Almost EntrancedCharles Highway is a 19 year old student who has two obsessions with entry One is to pass his Oxford entrance exams and the other is to sleep with Rachel Noyes before he Charles turns 20 in three weeksThis isn't a uest to lose his virginity that has already happened with Gloria or someone before her or to have sex with an Older Woman Rachel is only a month older than Charles It's about an over sexed literary white English male arbitrarily setting out to enter the sexual realm that a new female acuaintance has theoretically made available to him even if she already has an American boyfriend called DeForest Hoeniger Charles doesn't perceive anything special in Rachel She will just be another “pull” his “last teenage fuck another success or notch in his bedpost The description of his first sight of her is unenthusiastic uninspiring and lacking in romance “She was fairly formidable a bit out of my league really She didn't belong to the aggressively sexy genreHowever tallish nearly my height shoulder length black hair conventionally shaped around strong features she made much of her eyes her nose made much of itself black boots and black cowgirl skirt met at the knee manly white blouse expensive handbag few bracelets one insignificant ring rather stern no crap stance intelligent lower middle class with a good job something bossy like public relations living alone older than me possibly half Jewish” She turns out not to be Jewish Ione Skye and Dexter Fletcher in the 1989 film of the novel which I haven't seenThe Techniues of ConuestCharles scores high marks for observation and description though in reality it resembles perving or preparation for a kidnap a la “The Collector Charles uses the same approach for both entrance exams He has a folder into which he inserts notes uotes diary entries diagrams lists plans poems speeches letters prose portraits and sketches One folder is academic the other literary and pretentious The latter is labelled “Conuests and Techniues a Synthesis His seductions therefore seem to be a self conscious exercise in sexual praxis By the time Charles has finished he can or less submit an extract from “Conuests and Techniues in satisfaction of his course reuirements Hence “The Rachel PapersAll This Wanky Intellectual ShitCharles rarely accomplishes anything beyond his “adolescent egotism The you learn about him the less appealing he becomes His friend Geoffrey counsels him “No man don't get too wanky with her And cut out all this intellectual shit Chicks don't want to be over awed” Still he persists and we get the novel in its current form “a sorry jumble of cold facts and free associative prose It under awes It's mildly amusing so it's not uite awful You have to wonder whether it’s a self help manual for a chronic masturbator or an egregious exaggerator Charles keeps a meticulous multiple orgasm count whether or not they're achieved single handedlySOUNDTRACKview spoilerThe Beatles – “Within You Without YouWe were talking about the space between us allAnd the people who hide themselves behind a wall of illusionThe Velvet Underground – “Heroin hide spoiler

Martin Amis Ä 9 review

The Rachel PapersIn his uproarious first novel Martin Amis author of the bestselling London Fields gave us one of the most noxiously believable and curiously touching adolescents ev. I first heard of Martin Amis through the fellationary I refuse to accept the unreality of this word anecdotes of his late friend and tireless polemicist Christopher Hitchens Now Hitch for those who don’t know is a man of such intensity that the normal rules for using lugubrious in a sentence which is to say; don’t do not apply So hearing all his praise for Amis sank an image into my psyche into the binary operations of my most atavistic operating systems a conceptual depth charge descended bobbing like a giant rotten apple on black streams of lizard consciousness The picture of a man in a gimp suit leaning over a bowl of cereal which instead of confections in the shape of happy iconography is heaping with words like tumescent postprandial scabrous emetic detumescence termagant extempore pubical okay that’s not a real word either Fiendish spoonfuls disappear into the grim aperture of his executioner’s mask His hunger — never satedNeedless to say I’ve been in a state of confused arousal ever since So I thought it’s time to explode this mine using the soft water logged organic tissues which comprise my being to muffle the detonation Thus have I ridden The Rachel Papers like the proverbial Texas Rattlesnake with my thighs gripping all the while with force enough to explode two good sized cantaloupesWhat’s it about Well it’s about a self obsessed twat with a frail constitution and ego who meticulously chronicles his manipulative hijinks the bulk of which are directed towards obtaining a rather ordinary girl who has etched herself large in his imagination due to the difficulty in obtaining her Not to be thwarted by what he views as her simian boyfriend he draws upon his self aggrandizement to further self aggrandize using notebooks to codify mannerism affect ambient lighting conditions and speeches which beg borrow steal and sometimes confabulate insights he has gained from being a bed ridden book worm in the past all in order to loom eually as large in Rachel’s mindAll of this was humorous and oddly charming from a self insertion perspective Where I couldn’t help but imagine being Rachel and breaking this conniving little shit from sucking eggs using my own diabolical snares Which funnily enough made me sympathize with him because maybe we’re cut from the same cloth and he just has the unfortunate tic of scribbling out his machinations like an action item list After all I have set up vignettes within my own room to evoke certain impressions in visitors Leaving an art pad out with Boltzmann’s euations scribbled on it and stained just so with Rorschachs of Jaegermeister will in eual measure attract and repel prospective mates So if I can accuse him of anything really it’s being unbearably fastidious and going to pieces when the bottom falls out Roll with the punches you insecure phlegm ridden weasel Break ‘em from sucking eggs I will But on the other hand Maybe I would’ve pity shagged He’s a bit adorable in a horrible person kind of wayAnyway the story wasn’t terribly interesting to me if not for the fact that it was written by Martin AmisAllow me to clarify If the writing style of the book can be imagined as a window then it can range from opaue to completely transparent Sometimes Spot jumps over the fence and sometimes Spot luxuriates in rich prose doesn’t manage to clear the hurdle at all and snags his beanie babies in an unceremonious landing Which is a thinly veiled commentary on the pursuit of happiness See what I mean No Forget it You’re a terrible dog anywayNow with Amis it’s a bit like a foggy mirror in the loo You see shapes being traced in real time by someone on the other side Something beautiful and impossibly detailed defying the normal restrictions of phalangic art You’re astounded to see the nervous system of Hyena Matriarch materializing slowly This also allows you to glimpse something of the responsible party “Wait Is he”Next to this beautiful cross section of Crocuta crocuta of the Hyaenidae family The ueen’s arterial branches coalescing and terminating in a frighteningly large clitoris which she uses to absolutely terrify the males of the pack any time there’s a row that needs sorting Look this up if you’re curious There’s something else taking shape“Is that a penis on a skateboard Wait Is that the author over there rubbing one out”And that’s pretty much Martin Amis What a treasure