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One of the most haunting and memorable no pun etc novels I have ever read by Donald E WestlakePaul Cole suffers a savage beating at the hands of an aggrieved husband who walks in on Cole having sex with his wifeCole awakens in a hospital with absolutely no memory of who he is or how he wound up in the hospital Cole has brain damage and is no longer capable of creating memories let alone recalling his past All he has left of his past are the contents of his wallet which reveal a driver's license registered to Paul Cole of 50 Grove Street in New York City and a Screen Actor's Guild card which indicates that he was employed as an actorHe knows nothing of his pastHis present is an impossible maze reuiring a reliance upon self written notes handwritten reminders of where he lives where he now works and the names of the people in his new life He has only a compulsion to return to 50 Grove Street in New York City and hope to regain his memory And when he eventually gets to New York City what will he find “Whatever you lose you need what you lost to help you find what you lost” This novel isn't your typical Donald E Westlake crimesuspense thriller This might well be his greatest stand alone I would place it up there with Nathanael West’s The Day of the Locust Horace McCoy’s I Should Have Stayed Home Richard Hallas's You Play the Black and the Red Comes Up or Cornell Woolrich’s Phantom LadyWhat it emotionally brings to mind are James Ross’s stunning They Don't Dance Much and the melancholy dirt road noirs of William GayThis novel is engrossing epic and poignant He gazed at it all feeling sheepish and then turned back and walked on He went out through the Eighth Avenue entrance and stopped there on the sidewalk for just a moment at a lossWhat now Faint stirrings of recognition were not enough He had come here all this way blindly trusting his unguessable earlier self to have had sensible motives and a workable plan following through on a scheme he knew practically nothing about doing it for only emotional reasons If it had been left to conscious logical decisions he would probably still be back in town but he had been made so disturbed and so upset by the thought of staying that he had no choice but to goAnd here he was and what now He set his suitcase and canvas bag down on the sidewalk and took his note from his pocket There was the address 50 Grove Street That must be where he should go now ExistentialismNot sure that applies hereHellFor sure Paul Cole locates that particular geographic locale

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