FREE READ ´ The Land of the Painted Caves

FREE READ The Land of the Painted Caves

FREE READ ´ The Land of the Painted Caves Ò In The Land of Painted Caves Jean M Auel brings her ice age epic series Earth’s Children® to an extraordinary conclusion As the story opens Ayla Jondalar and their infant daughter Jonayla are living with the Zelandonii in the Ninth Cave Ayla has been chosen as an acolyte to a spiritual leader He faces Ayla finds inventive ways to lessen the difficulties of daily life searching for wild edibles to make meals and experimenting with techniues to ease the long journeys the Zelandonii must take while honing her skills as a healer and a leader And there are the Sacred Caves that Ayla’s mentor takes her to see They are filled with remarkable. I can save you the trouble of attempting to plough through Ms Auel's Potteresue doorstop in a few easy sentencesview spoiler1 Ayla who has become increasingly superpowered with each book is described in the first chapter as having been born with heightened acuity in all her senses but not realising just how uniue she is Why didn't we know about this before And what about the detailed descriptions in Clan of the Cave Bear of how Ayla had to work hard to learn all these skills because she didn't have inborn knowledge Wouldn't her years of hunting practise heighten her acuity Is Auel just making up things as she nah couldn't be2 Ayla continues to work as a healer and takes Zelandoni lessons3 Note to Auel When you are writing the verses to chants or songs in another language especially sacred ones do not I repeat do not try to make the words rhyme in English No matter how compelling or beautiful the original you'll end up with fourth form tyro drivel3 Ayla explores a lot of caves with beautiful wall art like visiting a lot of museums Along the way she accidentally discovers evidence that one of her fellow Zelandoni apprentices has been cheating on his OWLs The poor guy gets kicked out and told to study a craft or something 3a I like this so much that I'm going to uote from it We have foreshadowing multiple times that something bad is going to happen to Ayla particularly that a band of evil bad rapist men are going to kidnap her and drag her off But no They grab her and Jondalar somehow miraculously goes from in front of the evil band of rapist men to behind them breaks the leather thong assisted choke hold the dude has on Ayla and saves her from them Then the Zelandoni beat them to death in an instance of mob justice Well At least something sort of happened4 Ayla gets pregnant again but loses the baby She and what's his name have another breakup He goes off and does it with his old girlfriend who has always had it in for Ayla Ayla goes off and does it with someone else during a festival where it is proper to do it with anyone you like What you may call it becomes very annoyed especially since he now believes that sex makes babies and delivers a terrific beating to the party in uestion meanwhile bellowing He's making MY babies which doesn't even make sense Blame it all on the barma I suppose I was actually hoping that the two of them would end up mating with other people so that there would be at least a bit of a surprise Nothing doing5 Surprise Sex makes babies The people accept this and coin the word fa ther etymology as follows Fa in Zelandoni means to do with men and there is a fa lodge where fellas hang out and scratch burp watch football drink barma c Fair enough However the priestess also says that fa ther comes from combining the words far mother together The man is the child's far mother or fa ther Huh Don't they speak Zelandoni or something6 Ayla understandably upset by everything that's happened makes herself a bowl of the sacred Clan medicine gives a taste to the Reverend Mother and drinks the rest herself She sees that she has wrecked the entire Mother Goddess religion and early Cro Magnon culture with her insights about men's essence thereby creating internal combustion engines airplanes freeways Jersey Shore and the Bush Administration 7 Ayla is near death from excessive ingestion but what's his name comes back and saves her Fade out on them swimming in the river happily ever afterAnnoyingly enough we never learn Ayla's real name what happened to Durc or who her people were The original mystery the thing that kept us reading has just gone off into endless repetition of non essential details hide spoiler

Jean M. Auel ¶ 1 FREE READ

Paintings of mammoths lions and bears and their mystical aura at times overwhelms Ayla But all the time Ayala has spent in training rituals has caused Jondalar to drift away from her The rituals themselves bring her close to death but through them Ayla gains A Gift of Knowledge so important that it will change her world from the product page at BNco. All right that's finally done Nothing like making a stomach bug feel worse by reading a very disappointing bookFirst off I will say that I do admire Ms Auel for a couple of things 1 She researched this like no one else The depth and breadth of her experiences while writing all this are absolutely commendable Above and beyond Very few people get interested in something and go that far into learning about it And 2 She has always said in the few interviews I can find that she wrote this whole thing for herself Few writers can say that and mean it and I hope she is satisfied with what she produced Ultimately all writers know that that is what really matters I'd like to thank her for introducing me to this fascinating worldThat said here I go Spoilers very much follow The first 2 parts of this book are just an agonizing repeated ad nauseum rehashing of incidents from the first 4 books nothing of note happened in the 5th really and Ms Auel's own field journal of tours of painted caves Nothing happens The end Didn't even make me want to see the caves and I've ALWAYS wanted to see those caves Now if I do see them I will just be thinking of the fat chick peeing in the corner and Wolf taking a crap on the path Note to aspiring writers Telling about people and animals' bodily functions is not a detail needed for realism Just notThe third part was where the published story should have started A few halfway exciting plot points happen or start to happen and thenjust don't fulfill Even Ayla's drug induced calling was disappointing And while it might be realistic and refreshing to show that Neolithic Paleolithic My college Anthropology escapes me right now people were not benign noble savages with strict cultural morays against violence by showing them beating a group of criminals to a bloody pulp I don't think that was necessary It made me sad that this book ended on such a negative note; that instead of Ayla contributing somehow to the future of mankind as had been teased throughout the saga she was the singular cause of its eventual downfallinto a patriarchal system All because she realized that the penis has a biological function for procreation I expected from AylaAnd let's talk about that for a moment shall we I have never ever seen an author turn on their protagonist in such a blatant and hostile way The narrative of this book the underlying tone makes it very clear that Ms Auel was sick to death of this story That by the end of it she hates this wonderful character she created and wants nothing to do with her and lost the will to help Ayla become what we all thought she would Ayla is flat and unsympathetic and simple Even when Jondalar cheats on her with that malicious slut I just rolled my eyes at the rehashing of the plot of MH that followed I know she struggled with a huge bout of writer's block That happens to every writer me included I shall not throw stones into her little glass house I wish Ms Auel could have come through it with a little grace and dignity with some recognition that she was not alone in this endeavor that there are millions of us out here who needed this story to be Is that too maudlin Did I hold her pedestal up a bit high Maybe But you can't start a meal with filet mignon and end it with green jelloI've never been a fan of fan fiction But I think I might take a stab at this one Someone needs to fix this book And following Jean Auel's own credo I shall write it for myself And now back to reading ChickLit crap that I love


The Land of the Painted CavesIn The Land of Painted Caves Jean M Auel brings her ice age epic series Earth’s Children® to an extraordinary conclusion As the story opens Ayla Jondalar and their infant daughter Jonayla are living with the Zelandonii in the Ninth Cave Ayla has been chosen as an acolyte to a spiritual leader and begins arduous training tasks Whatever obstacles s. Excuse me I have some paint I need to watch dryAyla trains to be a Zelandani Ayla goes to many caves Ayla unveils the Big Secret that readers have known about since Book 1 The EndSpoilers Abound Like Mad Ye Have Been WarnedMy God If I thought the last book was fan fiction I have no idea what to call this piece of sht “Boring” “disappointing” “stupid” “mindless waste of time and paper” and “underwhelming” all come to mind But no words can describe how absolutely horrible this book isI don’t like to think I am a person who gives into hyperbole but this book is probably THE worst book I have EVER read not to mention THE worst conclusion to a beloved series It doesn’t wrap up the billion plot threads that have arisen in the previous five books Characters act largely out of character or like idiots Two thirds of the book has no plot and the last third has a plot that was regurgitated from an earlier book The writing is horrible The dialogue is terrible Whole conversations are dedicated to one character telling another about events the other character should already be aware of The pacing is all over the place More time is spent on detailing every cave Ayla visits but important events are sloppily skimmed over Several “exciting” events pause to detail Zelandani social norms the usages of cattail or recap earlier booksscenes thus breaking any sense of tension Large chunks of the book are stories from the previous five books or reiterations of events that occurred earlier in the story There is no cohesion in the book; it is separated into three parts that have very little to bind them into one work The sex though greatly reduced only two explicit sex scenes and two instances of being interrupted while having sex are still hilariously over the top and monotonous The conclusion is mournful and an insult to fansAbout the only laudable uality is the research It is obvious that Auel has put a lot of effort into the research which is commendable But regurgitating research pell mell into a novel without good characters a plot and decent writing does NOT make a story And it doesn’t help to have anachronistic info dumps written as if from a technical manual eitherIt is inexcusable how horrible this book is Auel has had many years to plan her ending to this once great series In the five previous books she introduced many interesting plotlines which she could have explored view spoilerThe relationship between Zelandani and the Clan What happened to Durc Jonayla’s growth and how it was different than Ayla’s A legitimate struggle between Ayla’s duties as a Zelandania and a wife and mother Real marital strife—maybe Ayla wanting to be with Brukeval or Ranec or one of the many men who drools over her or Jondalar struggling with wanting to perform First Rites and maybe wanting to be with Joplaya hide spoiler