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Read ✓ The Lightning Thief Æ PDF, DOC, TXT, eBook or Kindle ePUB free ↠ Percy Jackson is about to be kicked out of boarding school again And that's the least of his troubles Lately mythological monsters and the gods of Mount Olympus seem to be walking straight out of the pages of Percy's Greek mytO succeed on his uest Percy will have to do than catch the true thief he must come to terms with the father who abandoned him; solve the riddle of the Oracle which warns him of betrayal by a friend; and unravel a treachery powerful than the gods themselv. I don't care if this is middle grade literature I am starting this soon

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Percy Jackson is about to be kicked out of boarding school again And that's the least of his troubles Lately mythological monsters and the gods of Mount Olympus seem to be walking straight out of the pages of Percy's Greek mythology textbook and into his. A WritingA PlotA CharactersA MONSTERSI thoroughly enjoyed this book I wish I hadn't watched the movie before reading it because I felt like that ruined a bit of enjoyment of this book for me but for the most part I had such a fun time reading this book and I'm looking forward to continuing on with the series

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The Lightning ThiefLife And worse he's angered a few of them Zeus's master lightning bolt has been stolen and Percy is the prime suspect Now Percy and his friends have just ten days to find and return Zeus's stolen property and bring peace to a warring Mount Olympus But t. Chiron looked surprised “I thought that would be obvious enough The entrance to the Underworld is in Los Angeles” As someone who has worked in Los Angeles I can tell you that this is completely accurateWhile Harry Potter was spending his summers at the Dursleys Percy Jackson attended Camp Half Blood This book has done the impossible it has redeemed the name of PercyYes that's right that snot faced lily livered waste of air of the very same name from the Harry Potter universe That name is now relegated to the ranks of acceptable because of my love for this bookPerseus Percy Jackson is the kind of kid with whom you can't help sympathizing He is the type that's born under a dark star because inevitably wherever he goes whatever he does however good his intentions he can't help but fuck everything up Everything that can does and will go wrong A simple field trip can turn into a disaster in secondsJay Z's got 99 problems Percy might have He nearly flunks all his classes he's got dyslexia he's got ADHD and then there's Nancy Bobofit Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends—I guess she’d gotten tired of stealing from the tourists—and dumped her half eaten lunch in Grover’s lap“Oops” She grinned at me with her crooked teeth Her freckles were orange as if somebody had spray painted her face with liuid Cheetos Nancy Bobofit is not a major character in the book I have to mention her because her character resounded with me I had my own Nancy Bobofit back in grade school only her name is Mimi Nearly 2 decades later the memory of her horrible face still makes me shudder But I digressAs if the bullies aren't bad enough his dad is a no show his stepfather is LITERALLY named Ugli and there are crones foretelling Percy's death as well as a minotaur chasing his ass around AND NOBODY'S TELLING HIM A SINGLE FUCKING THING What's with all the secrecy manAs it turned out Percy is whispers special He is a half blood meaning one of his parents is a Greek deity He gets sent to Camp Half Blood with roughly 100 other kids like himIt's a freaky place for a kid who's known nothing but relative normalcy his entire life All of a sudden he's playing Pinochle with a Greek God Dionysus what a drunk his best friend Grover turns out to be a satyr and the gorgeous blond girl who rescues him thinks he's a doofus and she keeps calling him seaweed brainTo be fair Percy had it coming He is kind of a seaweed brain Another time Athena and Poseidon competed to be the patron god for the city of Athens Your dad created some stupid saltwater spring for his gift My mom created the olive tree The people saw that her gift was better so they named the city after her”“They must really like olives”“Oh forget it”“Now if she’d invented pizza—that I could understand”“I said forget it” Not your best moment PercyAs it turned out Percy IS special His dad is one of the Big Three gods Which kind of sucks because that's not supposed to happen “About sixty years ago after World War II the Big Three agreed they wouldn’t sire any heroes Their children were just too powerful A lot of people would think it was pretty cool to have such a powerful dadnot really Now that I was declared a son of one of the Big Three gods who weren’t supposed to have kids I figured it was a crime for me just to be alive Not only does Percy have to struggle to fit in at Camp Half Blood but there's some shit going on in Mount Olympus The gods are fighting again when are they not During the winter solstice at the last council of the gods Zeus and Poseidon had an argument The usual nonsense ‘Mother Rhea always liked you best’ ‘Air disasters are spectacular than sea disasters’ et cetera and conseuently like a brother playing a prank on his younger siblings someone's stuff was stolen And Zeus thinks that his bro Poseidon put Percy up to itOf course blame the poor kid Now Percy is shit out of luck YET AGAIN and he's got no choice but to go on this huge stupid uest into the underworld Los Angeles ha to clear his nameHe's not alone he's accompanied by the snarky gorgeous fiercely competent Annabeth she of the seaweed brain name calling as well as the most incompetent satyr that ever lived In his pocket was a set of reed pipes his daddy goat had carved for him even though he only knew two songs Mozart’s Piano Concerto no 12 and Hilary Duff’s “So Yesterday” both of which sounded pretty bad on reed pipes It's going to be a loooooooong trip to the UnderworldThe Setting THIS THIS IS HOW YOU DO GREEK MYTHOLOGY I am a Greek mythology buff I FUCKING LOVED THIS BOOK This book is just absolutely fucking perfect in every way when it comes to rewriting and reinterpreting the Greek pantheon It is so hilariously awesomely irreverent but completely fitting The gods are reimagined but they stay true to their true nature and the myths are retold in a cheeky flippant manner that had me giggling my ass off This book is so fantastically snarky to the Greek gods Everything is incredibly well explained to a lay audience like how the Greek gods can't seem to keep it in their pants Annabeth nodded “Your father isn’t dead Percy He’s one of the Olympians”“That’scrazy”“Is it What’s the most common thing gods did in the old stories They ran around falling in love with humans and having kids with them Do you think they’ve changed their habits in the last few millennia” And apparently the habit runs true for both male and female goddesses “What You assume it has to be a male god who finds a human female attractive How sexist is that” The existence of Greek gods and goddesses themselves are well explained and believable “Come now Percy What you call ‘Western civilization’ Do you think it’s just an abstract concept No it’s a living force A collective consciousness that has burned bright for thousands of years The gods are part of itDid the West die The gods simply moved to Germany to France to Spain for a while Wherever the flame was brightest the gods were there They spent several centuries in England All you need to do is look at the architecture People do not forget the gods I had my doubts about the execution of the premise of Greek mythology and all my doubts have been destroyed his book does great justice to the Greek gods it is the most faithful rendition than I have ever readThe Characters Yes Percy is a special snowflake but HELL I LOVED THE LITTLE SHIT He's got a special destiny He is a special child I DON'T CARE Percy is such a sympathetic character and although he won't be replacing Harry Potter in my heart any time soon there is a special spot for him He can give up pretty fast He's kind of a wimp but you know finding out that you're a hald blooded demigod is kind of a big deal and I understand his attitude of GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE I didn’t know what else to do I waved back“Don’t encourage them” Annabeth warned “Naiads are terrible flirts”“Naiads” I repeated feeling completely overwhelmed “That’s it I want to go home now” He doesn't really want to do anything big He's pretty stupid sometimes Auntie Em geez he's not exactly heroic He only does the heroic shit when there are no other options “All right” I said “It’s better than being turned into a dolphin” I loved Annabeth she is all I could want from a female supporting character I can't say that I'm fond of Groverbut I can't help feeling that we'll be seeing of him in the future “But a uest to ” Grover swallowed “I mean couldn’t the master bolt be in some place like Maine Maine’s very nice this time of year” Overall a fantastic book A good middle grade book makes you feel like a child again and this book did just the trick I found myself giggling throughout the book and an hour after reading it there's still a smile on my face that can't be wiped off